“We have to be uncomfortable before God uncovers your destiny because elevation is always proceeded by pain.”

Two years ago I was told I have diminished lung capacity due to Lupus attacking my lungs. I have scarred tissue that prevents my lungs from expanding to 100% so I get shortness of breath doing simple things. My lungs operate at about 60% and I tend to get fluid in my lungs often. Breathing is a struggle as is but I’m more prone to pneumonia or respiratory problems. I was told I could have a surgery to scrap the scarring off my lungs (with no guarantee it would work) or get a lung transplant. Based on my past history with medical procedures I postponed any follow up treatment.

I maintained my disease and honored my body’s restrictions. I became comfortable in my position though and remained stuck in self pity with the excuse as “this is painful”. I lost my motivation. I lost my drive in life. Slowly though, I’ve come to learn that I must get comfortable being uncomfortable. I try to push myself mentally and physically.

So today, a girlfriend took me hiking with our oldest boys and I was determined to make it up to the top. It’s a 2 mile hike with pretty steep inclines, but I did it baby. I stopped. I almost threw up. My friend was encouraging me & supporting me the whole way. We all need encouraging friends like this by the way. I can be strong by myself but when you have the right people in your tribe, they help guide you along the way.

My point is this: Don’t let circumstances command your life! I heard Pastor say that this morning and it spoke directly to me. We all have some circumstance that is holding us back in life. I know I’ve let Lupus hold me back from being who God says I am. I’ve felt defeated. I’ve felt bullied. I’ve felt lost. I still battle with self destructive behaviors some days. But I won’t give up. How can I defeat a bully I don’t stand up to? So today as I sat at the top of this mountain, I felt encouraged. I felt accomplished.

Letting go of what no longer serves me. Allowing myself to feel the pain, because I know that same pain will help me grow. 🧘🏽‍♀️

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